What Data Does Social Media Have on You?

Social media is lousy with algorithms crawling about, seeking information about every single person online. These algorithms are programed by private industry, by government agencies, and by strange young men in their parent’s basement. Oh, and of course this very website is already drilling deeply into YOUR available data while you are reading this post. If I were you, I’d stop looking at this thing immediately and run screaming into the night.

 

But if you insist on reading further, here are just a few of the data tidbits that Facebook, Instagram, Reddit, Snapchat, LinkedIn, and the others are gathering about you and squirreling away until they can sell it to the highest bidder.

 

Your blood pressure

Your blood pressure is a reliable indicator of your overall health. The higher it is, the more likely you are to kick the bucket from a stroke or something — and online merchants want to know just how long they will have you around to gouge. That’s why Amazon is now asking customers for their blood pressure every time they order.

 

Can you boil an egg

If you can’t, you are still dumb enough to fall for ads about fat-burning foods and male enhancement exercises. Plus, you will automatically be able to live stream Fox News 24/7. So watch out for those hard boiled egg surveys when you log in to YouTube.

 

Your Zodiac sign

If you’re a Virgo you always buy organic chicken. If you’re a Pisces you bite your nails. All twelve Zodiac signs reveal your innermost fears and dreams. And once a marketing agency knows your sign they can make you buy their product — or else turn you into a werewolf. So never go online without a nice fresh eye of newt.

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By Adam

Adam is an owner at Nanohydr8. He really loves comedy and satire, and the written word in general.